I love this conversation with my fabulous client, Natalie. She's experienced a massive transformation and her story is so inspiring.

When she started she was bingeing and restricting, fear and rules around every food in her house, fear and obsession over weight gain, body hate and judgment all so severe that she was on depression and anxiety meds and told her doctor she didn't want to keep living if she had to live like that.

Tune in to hear where she's at now. If you'd like to read the story we talked about her sharing in our group call, scroll down below.

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I had been dieting since I was 14 years old and on December 19, 2018, I started the last diet I will ever be on. I worked with a dietitian hoping that learning how to eat properly would help me win the war.

And losing the weight was easy—but keeping it off near cost me my sanity.

Because when I got the weight off, I was then faced with the struggle of not regaining it - again.

And by December of 2019, that struggle had me in a full-blown restrict and binge cycle that was completely out of control.

In late January 2020, my doctor prescribed anxiety medication. At the time, I thought my anxiety was because of a large home renovation we had just completed before Christmas, but it wasn’t.

I now know exactly where my anxiety and mental health problems began; worrying day and night about every single bite of food I put in my mouth.

Predictably, I started to regain the weight in July of 2020. Every day was the day I told myself I was getting back on track. Every Monday was the start of a new weight-loss endeavor.

I even tried to restart smoking after having quit for 20 years, hoping that would curb my appetite.

One night, I woke in the middle of the night obsessing over what I had eaten the day before and thinking about the endless promises made to myself to get my eating under control.

The decision was made.

I was going to Mexico to have the same surgery my brother-in-law had to help him lose weight because I thought I could not do this without cutting my body apart and fixing whatever is inside of me that was so terribly broken.

No, I did not follow through with the surgery, but this was a clear sign that my mental health was deteriorating at a very scary rate.

Around that time, I knew I needed help and had enrolled in Cognitive Eating.

I was desperate, I was struggling and my mental health was getting worse.

I even called my family doctor and told her that I no longer wanted to live if I had to continue to live like I was at that time. These words were not laced with drama or attention-seeking of any kind. I truly meant these words.

I told her that if I were to be diagnosed with a terminal disease my thought would be that at least I wouldn’t have to live this life of suffering and struggling with food and weight gain.

She put me on an antidepressant, urged me to continue the work I'd started with Cognitive Eating and kept a very close eye on me for months after.

In January of 2021, Roni was offering a CEA Coach Certification Training course for an extra small group and I enrolled.

Now I certainly was not doing this to become a coach at that time, because I was still fully immersed into my journey and most of the time I was convinced that I was never going to find what I was looking for.

But it was an opportunity to work with Roni on a deeper level and having the other client there too was an added bonus for me.

We worked every week, talking through our issues and digging into our lives in a way that helped me slowly start to put the puzzle together.

It hasn’t been easy. I wanted to quit. I was tired, but over this past year I have noticed many changes, most small ones, but they were all the things that needed to be dealt with and they were laying the path to where I am now.

Everything was starting to really come together for me this summer. All the small things were really adding up and I was settling into a better mindset.

I was off my anxiety and depression medication and I was honestly feeling better than I had in a very long time.

I took all the too-small clothes out of my closet that I left as a reminder of my failure and put them away.

I bought a new wardrobe that consists of exactly what I want to wear, not what hides my fat best. I am tucking in tops, wearing belts and even bought some crop tops to wear.

Everything is shifting.

I’m not bingeing or restricting anymore. I am not bothered by the chips or sweets in the pantry anymore and now I can have one and stop without effort.

When I go out to eat with my husband, I have what I want rather than what I think I'm allowed.

I feel beautiful and confident; I am not planning a diet and, actually, I have no interest at all in dieting. I am happy and I really never thought I would find my way to be able to say that.